Confidence Building 101 Page 6

  I know,” she smiled. “I know you. You’re a great guy. There’s a big difference between taking the lead, and being too aggressive. Actually, I have an idea. I think you should show me what happened on Rachel’s front step.”

  His heart stopped beating.

  “And I can give you some tips,” she casually added. “I can be your coach.”

  He was speechless.

  “It’s hard for me to really know what you did without seeing it,” she said. “Sure, you told me what happened, but being in Rachel’s shoes will be different. I can give you tips, suggestions, and advice on how to act. I can help your confidence.”

  He was doing his best to hide it, but he was shaking. He was going to kiss Ms. B? Kiss her!? How many times had he dreamed about this very moment? His prepubescent youth, that awkward puberty phase, and finally these last few years of being a man: the past eleven years of his life was full of lust and desire to touch that perfect mouth—but it was more than a physical attraction. Those pouty, inviting lips represented acceptance. Yes, this kiss was her way of attempting to improve his confidence with women, but it felt like more than that. He always thought that he had a connection with her, and maybe this was her way of showing that she felt it too.

  But his nerves weren’t going away. Kevin was having a hard time breathing.

  Lisa set her wineglass down on the coffee table to get things underway. “So, let’s pretend that you just took me out on a coffee date.”

  “We-we went on-on a coffee date?” he asked with a stutter.

  She reached out and removed the glass from his shaky hand before placing it on the table next to hers. “Come on, move closer.”

  The small gap on the sofa between his seat and her cute feet was depicted by two roads connected by a bridge, except this bridge was out of commission. He was standing face to face with a cliff which would send him plummeting hundreds of feet to his death if he mistimed his jump. The risk was immense. The pit below represented a falling out with Scott, the last time he would ever see Ms. B, and eleven years of his life going up in flames; but the road in the distance was undoubtedly filled with unimaginable joy. That freshly paved highway portrayed his ultimate fantasy. Perhaps he had a little Evel Knievel in him, after all.

  Kevin took that jump—his hands desperately clutching the handlebars of his imaginary motorcycle—until his butt was just inches from her feet. Was that churning in his stomach from anxiety or excitement? He honestly couldn’t tell. All he could do at the moment was gaze into those beautiful blue eyes and wait.

  “Do you remember exactly what happened?” she asked. “Like, did Rachel say anything before you kissed her?”

  Yeah, he remembered that moment, alright. First kisses were kind of tough to forget. “She said that she had fun and then just stared at me, waiting for me to get with the program. Are you sure we should do this? I mean, what about Scott?”

  “He’s not here, and my guess is he’s pretty busy at the moment,” she said.

  “Still—”

  “Kevin, this isn’t some out of control sex-crazed moment of lust between two people,” she cut him off. “This is a learning experience. I want to help you.”

  He had to ask. The last thing he wanted to do was take the chance at making her uncomfortable in the slightest. “You actually want me to…you know…kiss you?”

  “Absolutely,” Lisa confirmed. “I want you to show me what you did on your ex-girlfriend’s front step.” She took a breath before gazing into his timid brown eyes. “I had fun, Kevin.”

  She watched his entire face change. His bashful, frightened look quickly vanished, but it wasn’t replaced by confidence like she wanted. His handsome face was covered with confusion.

  “You had fun? Doing what?”

  She immediately rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding me? I’m pretending to be Rachel!”

  “Oh, I thought you were talking about yourself,” he nervously laughed, attempting to play it off as a joke to cover for his colossal sense of humiliation. He was such a nerd!

  Everything felt warm in an instant as her hand moved back on his knee, but not necessarily in a good way. The only thing on his mind was how thankful he was for wearing a baggy t-shirt and jeans. The combination of the firm denim and loose fitting cotton covered his rapidly hardening manhood. Admitting to fumbling a first kiss was one thing, but popping a boner in front of his friend’s mom was an entirely different level of shame.

  “Relax,” she softly told him.

  Relax? How in the world was he supposed to relax? The most unbelievable woman on the planet wanted to kiss him! Her perfect body was just inches from his, her face seemed more vibrant and lively than usual, and there was no denying that he loved those lips.

  He let out a deep exhale in an attempt to follow her advice. His attention moved back to her face where those piercing blue eyes were still locked on him. He could do this.

  “I had fun, Kevin,” she said once more.

  Here it was. This was the moment. His shoulders turned and opened to her as he leaned in, when both coordination and mind both promptly turned to goo. He was a child again. Maybe the best thing to do was just hurry up and get this over with. The longer he took, the more of an ass he would make himself out to be.

  He quickly leaned forward, gave her a little peck on the lips, and pulled back in a hurry. He was so nervous that his nose bumped into hers because he’d forgot to turn his head, only adding to the awkwardness of the situation. But oh God, that vanilla smell! Did he just run a marathon or kiss his friend’s mom? You wouldn’t be able to tell if you took his blood pressure. But his increased heart rate wasn’t the most surprising part of the experience. It was how silly he currently felt.

  This was like his first time with Rachel. He wasn’t referring to their initial kiss either. He was talking about when he officially became a man. A simple, clumsy touch of her pouty lips resulted in the same tingles from when he’d lost his virginity in his ex-girlfriend’s bedroom on that fateful summer night. In fact, it was stronger—much stronger.

  There was a power in those lips. If he could bottle it up and keep it to himself, he would. A daily dose of heaven that was Ms. B’s mouth would be a dream come true.

  She had a slight squint to her eyes. “Um…I’m going to be completely honest with you, okay?”

  Kevin was unsuccessful in his attempt to swallow. He’d never been this nervous before, and his bone-dry mouth was all the evidence you needed of that. The situation was rapidly becoming too much to process.

  “That um… That wasn’t…um…” She struggled to convey her thoughts without coming across as mean. The last thing she wanted to do was damage his confidence even further. “That wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either…”

  She felt a little part of herself die when a crushed expression swept across his face. “No, honey, I didn’t mean it like that! You seemed like you were in a hurry. You kind of banged into me and it felt like a kiss you would give to your grandma. It just wasn’t very…affectionate.”

  He couldn’t remember the last time he came this close to crying. What was worse? Hearing those words come out of her mouth, or knowing how disappointed she was in him? Probably both. He was doing his best to hold back tears.

  “Is that how you kissed Rachel?”

  He collected himself. He couldn’t have a breakdown in front of her. “The first time? Yeah, before I ran out of there. Jesus Christ, I must’ve come off like such a nerd…”

  “It obviously wasn’t a big deal if you two dated after that,” she told him. “And you mentioned making out so she must’ve liked it.”

  His face abruptly turned white. “Oh my God, how didn’t I see this until now? We didn’t kiss a lot. Actually, we only made out a few times. Rachel would always greet me with a hug instead of a kiss. She gave off a vibe that she didn’t really like kissing me either. I mentioned that.” The dim light bulb that had turned on in his head moments ago, was now fully lit. “It’s because she ha
ted kissing me!”

  “You don’t know that,” she rushed to dispute.

  “It totally makes sense!” he loudly declared. “Of course! And what if, oh my God—”

  Lisa was thrown off from him stopping in mid-thought. “What, sweetheart?”

  “What if she broke up with me because I’m bad in bed?”

  “That’s not what happened,” she reassured him.

  “You don’t know that!” he argued. “I act like a nerd, I can’t kiss, I’m bad in bed: I’m not good at anything!”

  She ran her hand through her long brown hair in frustration. Tonight was supposed to be about building his confidence, not destroying it. “Kevin, stop.”

  “What if that’s the reason!?” he continued to panic. “What if—”

  His sentence was cut short from the sensation of something on his mouth. He looked down to see her index finger pressed against his lips, and those always captivating blue eyes locked on his face. The world was a better place with her around.

  “Stop freaking out,” she said calmly. “Now, you’re going to kiss me again, except I want you to relax this time, okay? Just take things slow. We’re not in a hurry, honey. We have all night. We’re going to stay here and work on this until you feel that you’re a good kisser.”

  Little cupids sat on his shoulders, firing heart-shaped arrows at him while those relaxing words poured from her perfect mouth. That brunette angel could put all his concerns to bed with something as simple as a smile. As nervous as he still was deep down inside, part of him was more than ready to give this another shot.

  “I had fun, Kevin,” she tried again with a smile.

  There was a brief moment of hesitation on his end so that he could get his act together. He just needed to be smooth; to act like he’s done this before. That shouldn’t be hard! He had done this before! Well, kind of. Rachel didn’t look like Ms. B, he hadn’t had a crush on her for over a decade, and his confidence wasn’t anywhere near as low as it currently was when he’d shared that kiss with his ex-girlfriend on her front step. But he wasn’t clueless. He could do this!

  He turned his head slightly to the left, leaned in, and went for round two. This time his nose pressed into her cheek as their lips once again met, but there wasn’t a clumsiness to it. It actually came off as natural. At least as natural as kissing the sexiest woman alive could be. And that spark he’d experienced the last time their lips touched was even stronger now. He pulled back expecting to be greeted by a smiling face, but he wasn’t.

  “Um…”

  Oh no! Again? He messed up again!? But that was so much better than the first time, wasn’t it? He didn’t stumble! He not only came off as a guy who knew what he was doing, but he even held their kiss a split second longer than before. Shit, he really was a nerd!

  A small smile grew on Lisa’s face before she noted, “Better. That was…pretty good.”

  Kevin felt like a king.

  “That was nice,” she went on, her smile only growing. “I do have a question though. What’s going on with your hands?”

  His eyes shot down to observe both his hands firmly planted on his thighs. All ten of his fingers were squeezing the rough denim of his jeans in an attempt to hold on for dear life. He didn’t know what else to do with them.

  “Kevin, hands are an instrumental part of kissing,” she revealed. “Think of them as your second and third pairs of lips. You can do so many things with them. You can touch a girl’s shoulders, feel her arms, or even brush the hair out of her face. I love that!”

  He was jotting down mental notes in his head.

  “But nothing is sexier than a strong pair of hands on my neck when I’m being kissed,” she divulged.

  “On your neck?” he hesitantly asked.

  “Yes, on my neck,” she confirmed. “That’s the dominant quality girls love that I was talking about earlier. Hands on a woman’s neck represents dominance, but not in a disrespectful or controlling way. It’s in a masculine way. You’re kissing a girl so you obviously want her, right? Show her that. Take charge. So, I want you to kiss me again, but use your hands this time. Gently place them on my neck so your thumbs are on my face, right next to my ears.”

  His hands cautiously moved off his thighs, and journeyed toward that welcoming angelic face in front of him, quivering in the process. The fingers on his respective hands slid behind the gorgeous brown hair which fell from both sides of her perfect head—all of his fingers except his thumbs, that is. Those were resting on the flawless skin just next to her ears. Was this really happening? Did he have a firm hold of her neck? Was she willingly giving herself to him?

  He leaned in again, slowly tilting his head as their lips met, but this time something happened.

  They connected.

  Both of their lips simultaneously parted in some kind of mutual, unspoken bond. Everything was warmer and more moist as her open mouth embraced his own. His head accidentally slid down and his kiss moved to her bottom lip. Before he knew it, her lower lip was the only thing getting his attention. He quickly pulled back, dropping his hands from her face and expecting to be met by another disappointed glance. He was doing so good too! Everything was perfect until he clumsily lost control and drifted downward!

  Lisa’s smile couldn’t be bigger. “Yes!”

  That wasn’t the reaction he’d expected.

  “Oh my God, yes!” she exclaimed again. “Kevin, that was perfect!”

  Perfect? That was perfect? Borderline mauling her lower lip was perfect? He was so lost.

  “I love that!” she continued to excitedly express her feelings. “I love my bottom lip kissed! Okay, it’s a little advanced, but you totally just showed that you can handle it. Do that again but suck on my lower lip.”

  “Suck on it?” he asked, his face full of confusion.

  “You’re not a vacuum trying to suck up dirt or anything,” she explained. “You’re not trying to drink something through a straw either. Just be nice and gentle. Actually, I want you to surprise me. Show me three things we haven’t gone over yet.”

  He hesitantly asked, “What?”

  “I want you to try three new things,” she repeated. “You’re picking this up super fast, and the lower lip kiss shows me that you’re a better kisser than you think you are.”

  He opened his mouth to inform her that his kiss was a mistake before thinking better of it. What was wrong with having one victory tonight? He’d already admitted to being a low confidence, sexually nervous little boy. Letting her think that maybe had a few tricks up his sleeve wasn’t the end of the world, but there wasn’t any faking what was coming next.

  Lisa’s glowing face reflected just how truly impressed she was. “Show me some stuff I didn’t mention and I’ll give you feedback. Don’t hold back either. Maybe there’s something that you’ve always been hesitant to try. Go ahead and give it a shot! I’ll give you my honest feedback!”

  He was riffling through movie scenes in his head. What was something he could do? Shit, actually, he needed three things. His mind shifted to all the porn scenes he’d watched over the years before quickly moving back to Hollywood flicks. Pulling some kind of adult film style kiss with her wouldn’t be good for anyone. Well, maybe it would briefly be enjoyable for him, but the baffled expression that was guaranteed to be on her face following his shenanigans wouldn’t help matters.

  One thing came to mind and it was really the only move he had left: his tongue.

  His hands found her neck again, but not before a jolt to his heart caused him to pause. Having her in his control was electrifying. She was right: there was something sexy about a man being dominant, and his rock hard cock could attest to that. He loved being in control of this woman. It was an incredible feeling of power.

  He went in for another kiss as their lips softly met, but he didn’t rush to give her what she wanted. He remembered reading something about how girls enjoy being teased. Maybe that would help him come off as confident and in control? Truth b
e told, he was starting to feel pretty good about himself. He was alone with his dream girl! Nerdy kids and little boys don’t kiss their friend’s hot moms. That was reserved for jocks and outlandish porn scenarios. He certainly wasn’t a football player, and this sure the hell wasn’t a porn scene.

  Their lips parted as the affectionate kiss the two shared grew in passion. The boy in him didn’t want to move. She seemed to be into this. If not, then why were both of her hands now on his knees? And did he just hear a whimper? What if she was more than into this? What if she liked it? He couldn’t hold back any longer. He was a man and it was time to act like it.

  He moved down to her lower lip without breaking their kiss. There it was again! He wasn’t dreaming! The attention he was now paying to her bottom lip caused her to moan in pleasure! He didn’t feel like a king anymore—he felt like a god—and with a previously unknown confidence, he gently sucked on her lower lip.

  There wasn’t a moan to be heard. No, this time her hands slid up his legs and came to rest on his thighs. The pinky on her left hand sat mere inches from the head of his hard dick which was trapped under his jeans and hidden thanks to his t-shirt. It wasn’t debatable any longer. She was getting turned on from this!

  He needed three things though, and his first idea was always something he wanted to try, but never went for. It was weird in a way. He had sex with Rachel multiple times, but still didn’t feel confident enough to push the envelope when it came to other forms of intimacy—specifically kissing. But his self-esteem had been sent soaring by Ms. B’s touch on his legs and his hands on her face. He was in the mood to take another chance.

  He very gently bit her lower lip. His teeth barely clenched onto that plump slice of heaven and gave it a little nibble. A moan encouraged him to slightly pull back and take her bottom lip with him, before his teeth released her mouth and his hands left her neck. He quickly found her blue eyes in hopes that the sounds coming from her mouth weren’t misleading.

  They weren’t.

  Lisa lunged at her son’s friend and locked lips with him. This time, it was her hands that found his face as their mouths opened and her tongue slipped inside. She couldn’t help herself. Yes, this was supposed to be a learning experience for the nervous eighteen-year-old, but his changed demeanor had her feeling all kinds of tingles. She’d been teleported back to her high school days of juvenile lust, except this kid somehow knew all of her ticks and turn-ons. Her hands moved up to his shoulders before she caught herself. She shouldn’t be doing this!